What’s the point, I’ll be gone? 

This is an honest comment that comes up quite often. We don’t usually discuss our own end of life; its strange, morbid and usually a conversation stopper but through healthy discussion we can turn the conversation into one of purpose, honesty and value. 

So here we go, we know that no one is going to live forever and the day we pass away will be a heartbreaking day for those who love you. Then in addition to the pain, they will be left with a long list of to-do’s regarding your things such as clothes, furniture, home, bank accounts, investment accounts, insurance policies, google or email accounts, social media accounts and icloud accounts. As technology has made our lives easier it will make the estate process so much harder. 

I first started writing this post as I was walking with a friend through her last days. It was tragic, it was heartbreaking, it was so hard. Her situation was especially hard because her diagnosis came suddenly and her symptoms came quickly and she was young. Her and I had discussed cash flow and financial dreams before all this but we never got to the Will discussions because like all of us we think we have so much time. The conversations we were having during her last days could have been different if we had the proper Will in place; we could have put all our energy towards loving and caring for her. So I write this to share what I have learned so you and your friends and loved ones will hopefully be prepared for what we hope will not happen for many many many years. 

Let’s break it down, there are different things that you will need to do or think about.

1. Your tangible accounts; bank accounts, investment accounts, lines of credit, credit cards.

2. Your intangible accounts; online email, social media, cloud storage, sites such as Paypal.

3. Your planning; insurance, Will, Power of Attorney, Living Directive.

4. People to contact; Accountant, Lawyer, Investment Advisor, Insurance Advisor

Email me to receive a PDF which will help you streamline this exercise. Some of the suggestions will not be applicable and you may have some that you need to add to the list but it will hopefully get the wheels turning and help the task feel less intimidating. 

As you work through the exercise start putting together a binder of hard copy paper. In a digital world things get tricky tracking down all the items so make it easy and put together a simplified document.

In your binder include the following: 

• The PDF you are currently working on

• A copy of your Will, Power of Attorney and Living Directive

• Your last 5 Tax Assessments, start the habit that every year at tax time you take out the first and put in the new one so you have a rolling 5 years.

• Instructions you may want to provide to your loved ones

The process of creating a Will seems scary. It seems like it is going to be a long drawn out conversation or process which it might be… but those questions and conversations are important to have. Decisions I am sure you would like to have some input in. 

I have included a few different scenarios that could play out depending on your stage of life. 

Without a Will your family will need to step in and start completing paperwork and forms. Figuring out what you had or what you wanted to gift to people, during a period where they are in the midst of trying to figure out what life looks like without you. There will be extra legal fees, extra delays and extra sleepless hours. Your situation can be very simple to put on paper, but without that paper your situation can be very complicated for those you love.

1st Scenario: you are single, just starting on your financial journey and feel like you don’t have much to leave behind so what is the point? After all the forms are completed and the extra fees are paid your bank account would be split evenly between your parents. If your parents have predeceased you, then it will be split evenly between your siblings. If there are no living relatives your savings will go to the provincial government to where it gets deposited into a fund used for University Scholarships and research.  However, prior to dividing up what financial assets you did have, your family/friends will need to take care of funeral expenses, last expenses such as Credit Cards, Rent, Car Loans, all outstanding debts. Unfortunately most banks will not allow funds to be withdrawn from an account until Letters of Administration are approved by the court system which takes time, which means that some of these expenses will need to be paid from loved ones bank accounts in the hopes that they will get money back once the legal process is over.

If you would have met with a lawyer to put a Will in place. The conversation would have had some of the following questions.

• Who do you want your bank account to be left to? You might have responded with my siblings or my best friend or my parents or all three of those parties.

• Who do you want in charge of overseeing the estate distribution? You might respond with my sister.

• The lawyer would draft up your instructions in your Will. At the terrible point of your passing, your sister who you have named as your Executor contacts the lawyer and within a few short months your beneficiaries get the money you intended for them. There is less legal conversations, your family and friends don’t have to guess and more of your hard earned money goes to those you love rather than to pay fees. 
  

2nd Scenario: you are married, maybe for a short period, maybe you have been married for years but when you pass away everything will roll to your spouse. You might think wow, that was easy, that’s exactly what I intended, but then you think about your parents, or your siblings or friends who you would love to leave a little gift for. Regardless of the dollar value it might be one last way to say, I love you, thank you for being with me on this journey or one last way to take care of those who are close to you. It puts a lot of pressure on your spouse to have to think of those details after you are gone. 

3rd Scenario: you have a blended family or a family situation that may not look like the above two scenarios. This creates even more emotions and complexities that are worth discussing now. 

Your own personal treasures:

When I was little my Nano (my grandma) didn’t have a lot of money but she had a lot of treasures. She loved the tea cups in her cupboard and the pictures on her wall; as a result her kids and grandkids treasured some of those things as well. There was one visit in particular where she instructed us to choose a picture and a tea cup we would like to have when she is gone. Once we made our decision, we would attach a sticky with our name and date on the back of the picture or bottom of the cup.

We all have special items that are not included in the typical legal document but we treasure these items and want to make sure others treasure them when we are gone. For example, I have a black leather jacket that my sister in law gave me years ago, I love it, it brings me joy every time I wear it and I would love to know that piece is with someone I love bringing them joy after I am gone. Sounds silly, but it is often those items that mean more to someone than the funds we wish were in our bank account.

Allow the document to grow with you: 

Some of you might be stressed that the decision you make today might not be the decision you want next year. My response to that would be that’s ok, put down what you want today and next year review it, make changes, think about things, make more changes. Remember these documents can grow and change with you. 

One area I have been really concerned about lately is the guardian of my kids, it makes my heart race to think about my kids being raised by anyone other than my husband and I. Sometimes the circumstances in our lives change or the circumstances in other people’s lives change which requires us to review and reevaluate our choices and that is ok. Life is always changing and these documents can be adjusted to fit all the moving pieces.  

Remember there is never a perfect time to have these conversations, but these discussions and decisions are too important to wait until all the ducks are in a row. By taking one afternoon to go through your life, you are saving your loved ones days or months of stress. 

Do you have a Will?

Have you reviewed it lately?

Do you feel good about the choices in the Will or how things would be distributed as your final good-bye?

Please message me to discuss this in more detail, to start working through the heart topics and questions, so that when you go to meet with a lawyer you are in the right headspace.

This post is based on my personal experiences and conversations I have had with clients and friends over the years. I am not a lawyer and do not intend for this document to be a legal document but more of an encouragement to take the step to meet with a lawyer to get these documents in order.